The sky is a brilliant blue. There are puffy, white clouds. The temperature is fantastic. It is a gorgeous day. There is a shiny object flying across the sky. It soon disappears, either out of sight or behind a cloud.
It is like a shiny toy on a shelf, to be available, to be possessed.
I expect the airplane I observed was filled with those who had paid the price to be on board. Those who take the opportunity available to travel distance in a short period of time. A choice.
On a different note, there is a shelf. A shelf filled with shiny objects, like the airplane gliding across the sky. Filled with other things, such as money, good jobs, jewelry, hope or love. All are available. Some have a high price. Some are free for the taking.
Who takes what?
There are those who grab up all the freebies. Others choose high-priced objects. Each is inclined to tell about their choices, to elaborate their rationale, their cleverness or worthiness.
One of my fiction writers offers an explanation to a young man who is having a hard time. She tells him “You are a Native American. In the game of life you start at a -5. You have extra to do to even get an even chance at zero. You have to be better or work harder.”
White men upon their birth start with at least a +5. They just have to be born. Many times they don’t have to do anything. Opportunity is there. Hands are held out. They are constantly a plus ahead of anyone who is not a White Man. All they have to do is walk into a room. All attention is focused on him. What can anyone do to fill his needs? Everyone there automatically defers to him, becomes subservient.
There are those who, for whatever reason, have such power needs they want everyone to be their object. Those who think all of the injustices in the world are to be extracted from their targets, wives, children, pets, who or whatever is in their path. They are there to absorb their anger, to be hit, derided, deprived. They are secretive about this, deny their behavior to the outside world, and have to look wonderful.
So, are the ones who get all the shiny toys on the shelf? Are there any toys left when they are finished picking? Are there rejects? Is there a hidden or obscure shelf somewhere to which they don’t have access or care about?
Who gets those shiny toys? Are there other secret rules? Are there other pecking orders? Are there self-worth issues?
Who decides?
If the objects are labeled with visible prices, that is a starting place. One either has the wherewithal to pay, to save up for future purchase, decide on a lesser model, go without or even try to steal it.
What about the freebies? What causes some to reject them and others to grab them up? Do some feel they are not worthy? Their ego or self-worth demands they not get something for nothing? Do others load up in an attempt to boost their worth with piles of stuff they will never use?
What about those in the middle? Those who habitually feel they have to pay. For sure, this is a measure of individual self-worth, of standards developed.
A psychologist friend once told me “You get what you pay for. Cheap = inferior. Free is never the right amount. What is given is neither appreciated nor cared about. In fact, the giver is derided for being selfish or prideful.” The higher the price, the greater the worth attached.
At my age, reflecting over my life and philosophy, I see shiny objects rejected, obtained. A chance of a free education, anything I wanted. The price — give up my established life, be someone I was not, nor prepared to be.
I rejected that and I paid my own way.
The most cherished gift I have ever received was a fishing rod and reel. I had one of sorts. It was looked at it and they decided to get me a different one. Right then. We did. It was the first time anyone had ever given me a spontaneous gift. A gift that wasn’t a mandatory thing. I still have it. I felt loved. I felt honored. It was given in such a manner that I didn’t feel like I had to pay it back.
That is a conundrum of the shelf of shiny toys. Someone has put them there. When there is a label and cost, it is an agreed-upon exchange. You pay. You receive.
Freebies, I believe, are often given for the sole purpose of elevating the worth of the giver, enhancing their self-worth, their ego. As a consequence, making the receptive ones inferior, dependent. The one in power: I am wonderful, you are to serve me.
Other times, the objects are just given to show appreciation to the one receiving. Not just objects, but gifts of caring and love. This other side requires acceptance by the receiver, sometimes difficult for proud individuals. Shiny toys and things can be even-exchange on a different plane.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Contemplation: Have you shared any shiny toys lately? Do you believe you are worthy of receiving any?
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
© 2023 Our New Chances
Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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