Life lesson: Be prepared for ups and downs.
I heard the owl even before I woke up. It’s pensive hooting sound had been going on for I don’t know how long. It was an expressive sound and a wonderful way to start the day.
Was the owl calling for a mate? Was it declaring territory? Or was it announcing the joy of living?
The sky is cloudy so, when the sun appears, it will be a glorious sunrise. Leaves are appearing on the trees. Wouldn’t it be spectacular to start each day with such joy?
What if we could get on a moving walkway, like at the airport, and be safely whisked away to our target destination?
What potential drawbacks might we experience? What benefits would be possible? At what level are we being whisked to our destinations? Are we feeling euphoria or despair? Are we bored, or feeling nervous anxiety, happiness or longing?
As I begin to re-enter life, I can see around me. I had a narrow focus for a long time during my spouse's illness and ultimate death. I was totally immersed in caregiving and just getting by. I missed what was going on outside of my own life.
Now I see friends suffering bumps, bruises and disaster in their lives. Many of them are experiencing illness themselves and in their loved ones. Maybe a car has developed a problem or the roof has developed a leak. Animals decimated the foliage in one’s yard, one had a child severely reprimanded at school and another has been terminated from her job.
How boring would it be to ride a moving walkway for the rest of our lives? Wouldn’t it be more fun and interesting to get on an elevator? Sometimes the door opens in the basement. We might not want to get out there, but there we are, along with pain and hurt and despair. We need courage to walk through the door at that level. While it may seem easier to remain in a state of numbness, therein lies the temptation to mask our pain with drugs and denial.
When the door opens at the basement level, we must choose. Do we summon the courage to experience what is out there? I caution you to choose to experience the hurt and pain. Experience the exhaustion grieving produces. Masking and avoiding keeps us at the basement level and prevents us from taking the opportunity to re-enter life.
For me, it seemed like every time I would feel like I could brave opening the door and stepping out at any level, I would get knocked back into the elevator. The door would slam shut. I wanted to be in my chair. I would feel heart palpitations if I even thought about diving into the crowd. Some days I could ward off the anxiety and fearfulness for a little while. However, I couldn’t maintain that courage at all levels. I will, but not yet. Some days, I just take one step at a time.
It is a difficult journey, and it’s definitely no fun. What happens is the elevator rises to another floor, sometimes just for a few hours and sometimes for days, weeks and months at a time, then WHAM, it drops us back to the basement. But don’t give up.
As we battle through the grieving process and begin to re-enter life, we also begin to see what is out there. Sometimes we wish we couldn't, but it is reality, therefore we need to gather our courage for the journey and take the next step. How can we experience the joys of the top floor if we have numbed ourselves and become stuck in the basement?
I hope for you to wake up one morning and hear birds singing and see a beautiful sunrise. It is an indication you are re-entering life, as I am trying to do.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
© 2023 Our New Chances
Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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