Pets Passing and Unfinished Business

I finally got together with my neighbor for lunch. I had lost track of the time and she was at the restaurant before I left the house. I didn’t intend to insult her by being late, but it is what it is. I thought about setting my alarm and just didn’t. Passing thought — good idea.

She is a very smart woman. She was a contractor for several homes in a male-dominated environment. She said when she gave directions, no one would pay her any attention, so she would get her husband to tell them what had to be done. She didn’t care. She got the job done. They didn’t know she was the one in charge.

When it came time to build her own home, the homeowners association said she couldn’t have a particular kind of siding. She said OK, then I will pull in a mobile home. The HOA people said she couldn’t do that and she pointed out there were no regulations against it. She got approval for the type of siding she wanted.

She just got a new dog. It isn’t exactly what the breeder said it was, but she doesn’t care. She loves the dog. It is clearly part French bulldog, part something else.

She had two dogs and had to put the older one down. She said she had to get another dog because the remaining dog was grieving.

She told me about the last days of the dog that died and how the dog knew it was time to go.

This was a dog she got for her husband who was ill at the time and she thought he needed a dog. The dog was 13.

My dog is in much the same situation. She will be 11 this summer. She is slowing down, but still OK. The only thing is she acts lonesome. I think she needs a companion. I expressed my caring for my dog, and about trying to find a companion for her. It's hard to find a small dog.

We talked for a long time. My friend told me about her dog’s last days, about putting her down, and how she had been a good dog and a part of the family.

She talked about how her dog started having seizures and the physical consequences of the seizures. She said she held her dog, calmed her down and told her it was OK.

I don’t think my friend had ever had a chance to tell about her pet's passing. It seemed like unfinished business. The faucet needed to be turned on, and the reservoir had been waiting.

We talked about my search for a companion for my dog, which is hard to find. Maybe a cat would be easier. There are consequences, advantages and disadvantages of having a cat. I had cats the entire time I was growing up. I like having a cat. A cat can stay by itself for a few days without provisions, not like a dog. Cats climb. I have multiple shelves everywhere with all kinds of stuff on them. A cat would be amused to see how fast those possessions would hit the floor.

My friend told me about her last cat, how smart he was and things he did. When he became ill, it was obvious the cat was in pain. She thought it was in his best interest to put him down. She said he gave her a look, like he knew exactly what was happening.

It was good for both of us to share about our pets. They are an important part of our lives. For many, like us, our pets are our family. Not everyone understands that.

It was an honor for her to tell me about her pets. I was able to share some of my concerns about my dog.

I was able to listen. We were able to share. We are friends.

It was comfortable. We have history as short as it is.

In my attempts to re-enter life, I am looking forward, assessing my dog's needs, not my own. It is a good sign.

I hope you have an important alternate family member that shares your life.

Let me know how you are doing. I care.

Contemplation: Have you grieved, and shared, about an alternate family member?

Sincerely,

Lynn Brooke

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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau