Most of my morning was spent repairing the ramp for Susie, the tortoise, to go into her sand yard.
I can’t believe how much time and money I spend on pets.
Susie is my spouse’s tortoise. We got her many years back by trading a friend’s dog for her because she was allergic to the dog and couldn’t let it in the house.
So the tortoise became a fixture in our lives. Susie decided when and where she wanted to be and would go to the door to be let in and out. She didn’t have a special home built for her like she has now. When it was time to hibernate, she would go under equipment where it was a safe winter temperature for her. In the spring, she would come out when it was warm and be very hungry. In return for a good meal, she would dig a hole and lay eggs. They never did hatch and eventually she got tired of doing that.
In the past few years, my spouse did not recognize Susie, the tortoise who had given us many laughs over the years during which we spent tons of money to make sure she was seen by a tortoise veterinarian.
As my spouse’s disease progressed, a fascination with the geese at our summer home was born. Every spring, they would parade by the house, and we would count them. There were many pairs of geese and many offspring.
This year so far, there has been one pair with four offspring, one with six, and a third pair with eight. One day, I spotted a pair with 12 goslings. That seems like a lot of goslings for one pair of geese to produce. Maybe someone added to the pair’s nest.
But the counting kept my spouse occupied and pleased to see the geese.
Writing numbers and counting would keep my spouse occupied for hours as a child who was often about to overwhelm a mother. The written numbers were carefully aligned. These are the attributes of a money person. A person who later laid down the following rules on spending:
Keep a close watch over your funds.
Don’t spend more than that for which you can pay cash.
Pay bills promptly.
Pay a fair price for what you buy.
Make sound investments.
It was not a welcome day when I realized my spouse could not balance a checkbook and I would have to take on that job. I knew I would have to follow the previously established rules, and if I did, we would be OK.
Dementia is a terrible disease. It kills the brain, but not in an orderly fashion. Each person deteriorates uniquely. My spouse began losing track of things. The disease progressed from there.
But counting the geese was familiar. It was like writing numbers down on that sheet of paper so long ago. Counting those geese kept the mind occupied and happy.
Now, I can’t help myself. I count the geese as they pass by. I open the door for the tortoise, and let her back in when it is time. It keeps me occupied and delays the grieving.
I follow the rules. I believe as I attempt to re-enter life it is important to have a set of guidelines to keep life in balance. It would be easy to go off in many different directions and get lost.
The geese are a good reminder.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Contemplation: Are your rules sound and intact?
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
© 2023 Our New Chances
Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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