Life lesson: Be prepared when any change is made. There will be unexpected consequences.

The new floor is down. I went through the throes of decision making about what to do with the carpet. It was obvious it needed replacing, as it had been there for about 25 years. I had to make a decision whether to replace carpet with carpet, or choose a more current look. I chose a wood look. It is in keeping with the times. It is striking. I would rather have had carpet installed, but the circumstances with the dog made that unrealistic.
Who would have thought changing the floor would have had so many consequences? First of all, another loss. A mini-loss, but I am grieving the loss of carpet. It seems rather shallow, but losses accumulate if you don’t deal with them. I couldn’t have imagined I would feel such sadness to see the old carpet go out the door. Just getting it was major in itself, considering discontinued stock and resultant cost increases.
Then, a person (a friend?) trying to help me by making decisions for me, thought I should get rid of the dog. Euthanize her, or give her away. Get a cat. I got rid of the friend instead. That was another loss.
The dog belonged to my spouse. She sat on her lap for the past several years. She looks sad when I look at her. I expect she is grieving, as am I. I wonder if I can help her to re-enter life, also?
Another consequence is that the new floor is not the same elevation as the old carpet. There is a huge space under every door. There’s a huge space under louvered blinds. I don’t know what to do about that. I sure don’t want to get new doors everywhere.
The rooms now look bigger. Where it is pleasant to have open space, the rooms now look barren and uninviting. I have to get some rugs. The dog says “Oh boy!”
The furniture has also come into play. It seems to slip around on this surface. I wonder why that chair is in a different location every time I get up? Am I going to have to put something on the legs or feet of every table and chair?
The furniture doesn’t exactly match with the new floor. Am I going to have to get all new furniture?
Yet another consequence is, of course, the noise. The QUIET house is gone with the carpet. The noise with the new floor is unnerving. I don’t like to hear myself walk across the room. It is spooky. I wonder if someone is following me. I had better not shoot whoever actually is following me.
All of these issues, losses and consequential decisions are unexpected consequences of change. Who could have foreseen the gaps under all the doors? Maybe the flooring salesman? If I make a change, I have a target in mind and expect a favorable outcome. What happens instead, in every single instance of change, are the unexpected consequences. They are totally (usually) unexpected.
After being shocked by this reality, again, it is no wonder I show reluctance in making any more changes. It is so much easier to stay in my comfort zone. It takes energy to deal with the fallout.
The personal motivators are the troublesome ones for me. What gains could merit such discomfort? Should the bathroom be repainted, or re-wallpapered? What if it doesn’t look good? Should I meet this person for coffee? What does she want from me? Should I go on a trip for a week?
Any, and all of these, aside from sitting in my chair, are going to have side issues or unexpected consequences. Some will be good, and some not so good, but all taking a lot of energy to deal with the results.
What I believe is important is that I assume responsibility for any change. If I do what someone else decides is good for me, I am dealing with the consequences of their doing. This can generate resentment.
I need to continually assess my level of energy. I need to determine my progression in the stage of re-entering life. I should proceed from there, take small steps, and make small changes. I have to be ready for the unexpected.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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