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Directions, You Said What?




Some years back, I was trying to buy some property. It was in the country. When I couldn’t find it, I asked for directions at a local store. I was told to follow the road and turn left where the Miller’s place used to be, then after a while it would be on the left.


Since I didn’t know where the Miller’s place used to be, the directions didn’t help much.


It seems like the directions I am getting for just about everything now. I have no idea what the key of the entire procedure or directive is.


I tried to order a piece of clothing online. First, I had to log in. Well, I didn’t have a login. I tried to follow what the screen said. Put in everything. Still didn’t have a login. I called the 800 number on the screen. There was a waiting list. Maybe someone else couldn’t get a login.


The person who finally came on the line spoke in a very low voice. He/she had an accent. I kept asking the person to repeat and I turned the phone volume up to blast. I still couldn’t understand or follow all that was said.


I finally decided I didn’t need that thing very much and hung up the phone.


Then there was the bank account. There was some money in a CD. A letter came in the mail that my money was going to be turned over to the state. I hadn’t accessed my account in too long a period of time. The CD matured at a future date. Did I just want to gaze at it? I had no interest in seeing when it was supposed to mature. I already knew that, but I was supposed to access my account. I didn’t have the access information. I was supposed to create an online account. Same thing, up came an application. It took hours for me to fill out and refill out because I didn’t do it to the point the machine would recognize me, or give me a number to login.


Again, call the 800 number. This time a nice person who I could understand came on the line. She asked me to tell her line-by-line what I was filling in. All was going well until I got to the line that wouldn’t accept what I had entered or I didn’t know what it was asking. The nice lady had me go through the entire process a bunch of times, four or six? Too many. It still wouldn’t let me in the account. Finally, I said OH, maybe it wants to know my phone number, not the 800 number listed. The directions were not specific. I put in my phone number. Success.


I don’t know how these people maintain their patience. Even some of them apologize for their computers. If they are the experts, what am I? For sure someone who wants to pitch her computer through the window about every day.


When I try to give directions to someone, I can see the same lack of comprehension on their faces. What key did I skip over?


Some are experts at giving directions. They go step-by-step, then ask for a repeat. When those with a military voice, or a Mother’s voice speak, people pay attention.


I have found it is best if I can write directions down or show what to do. Then go over each step.


I just wish the directions for that chair from the Internet store, that ended up one side lower than the other, would have been more explicit, and that directions for those who are grieving would be more specific. It will get easier.


Wouldn’t it be something if there were failsafe directions for those who are grieving? If you do this, it won’t hurt so much. If you do such-and-such, your grief will disappear by this time. It doesn’t work that way. Grief hurts and has its own timeline. Masking hurt is comparable to the short side of the Internet store chair. It leaves us compromised. It leaves a fester inside waiting to explode or self-destruct. 


I keep trying to follow directions:

Experience the hurt.

Remember grief has no timeline.

Keep faith, pain will decrease with time.

Remember that change is inevitable, we can adapt and end up with happiness.


Let me know how you are faring. Is the computer winning? I care.


Contemplation: How important is it to recognize that directions are two-dimensional, the giver and receiver? How important is patience?


Sincerely,

Lynn Brooke


© 2024 Our New Chances

Photo Credit: © 2024 Rachel Gareau

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