What a difference a few hours in the day can make.
I started out the day in a pit of despair. I am ending it relatively happily, or at least satisfied.
I had an exhausting grief reaction at the start. These occurrences always leave me exhausted, so I sat in my chair with my dog for a little while. She doesn’t like to sit on me when I feel bad.
My house is in total disarray. It hasn’t been put back together since the new floor was laid, the bathroom chest/cabinet and new showers were put into place.
I saw a small thing I could put away without too much effort, so I got out of my chair and did it.
From there, I saw another small thing.
The showers that went in the bathrooms several months ago were functional, but not finalized to my standards.
These bath-to-shower conversions have all kinds of advertisements, one of which is a nonslip floor. That may be for most of the time, but I found myself slipping when getting in and out.
It's a problem, because I did choose that particular floor and tearing out the entire thing is not an option. I will have to put down a non-skid mat.
In addition, I had planned to install hand grips as soon as the showers were done. Things kept interfering until I had no more excuses. Today is the day.
Projects are very therapeutic for me. While I am busy, I don’t get to think about how much I miss my loved one. Projects keep videos from running through my mind at the least provocation.
The first was a takedown from the original bath. OK, where are the screws that came out? Nowhere. The installers must have thrown them away. I’m going to try to find at least four screws of the right size and length in the shop. That doesn’t happen. Maybe there are a few that might work, but the heads are different. Can they be screwed in without ruining the head?
The answer is no. So the first screw is half in, stuck. What do I do now? Rip it out with half the wall? Cut it off? Try to push it in a little further? That worked. It did not go all the way in, but the cap will hide it. There’s no inspector on this job. Now to find a replacement screw.
The other grips have their own screws. They were new and still in the box.
So for the second hand grip, I try to get it in place without damaging the finish. I have to find a longer screwdriver before I start. All the screws went in with no issues. That went well. This is turning out to be doable.
The third hand grip is not in a real good location, but it’s workable. I get the stud finder, then mark and double-check where the holes need to be drilled.
The first screw is a piece of cake, the second, no problem. The third? Where did the stud go? It’s not there. Why did it register as being there?
Now there is a hole with no stud in line with two that are solid. Should I move the location? Well, that won’t work. There are too many holes already drilled.
I know the installed wallboard is solid. I can use a hollow-board anchor. Now I need to find one. I search through all the stuff in the workshop. I find all kinds of different diameters, lengths and promises of weight-bearing capacity. I just have to decide and drill a bigger hole.
Finally it all comes together. Three hand grips are installed. One thing had led to another and pretty soon I was on a roll. Things got put away. House repairs were made.
I was out of the despair pit.
I didn’t expect what seemed like simple projects to take all day. That seems to be how projects go these days.
After care-giving for so many years, with little activity, my body doesn’t seem to have the strength and resilience of earlier years. My legs beg to sit down.
Re-entering life requires regaining strength. These projects seemed to fit the bill for exercise to promote strength. I didn’t have to pay to go to the gym.
I think I will sit down now and hold the dog. I can find other projects tomorrow.
Movement, activity and accomplishment buoyed my spirits. I could count what I had done and it felt good to see the results of my actions.
To start to re-enter life, try to get out of your chair. I’m glad I made myself get out of my chair. It is mesmerizing to stay in it, to cocoon. It is rewarding to know that another door can be opened.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Contemplation: Do your projects seem to come with more unexpected problems? If so, start small, but try to get out of your comfort zone..
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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