
The holiday season is here. Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. There are parties, vacations, family, gifts and religious services. The pressure is unlimited to get it all done. Winter clothes must be found. Trees and altars need to be decorated. Special foods must be prepared.
It’s a frenzy.
In the middle of all: Life goes on. Another friend just died. Actually, a special friend of a friend. This is a terrible loss in the middle of holiday events. It’s another hole punched in our hearts. Sorrow and hurt overrides happiness and joy.
Can this be walled off? What are the consequences?
Our bodies wear out and disease overcomes us. Our dying is pretty much out of our control, at least the specific times of our demise.
What remains in our control is the destruction that can occur to our being.
The holiday season perpetuates this destructiveness. Gatherings and expectations feed the anxiety, the pressure. Liquor flows. Drugs desensitize.
My friend's daughter is still caught in the middle of this. She still shows up at her mother’s house with bruises.
Domestic abuse proliferates over the holidays. Murder/suicides have been frequently in the news.
Physical harm to children and/or pets is often the trigger event for leaving. Not just a one-time, but an escalation of physical actions.
What is the best course of action?
There is no physical abuse without emotional devastation, a slow death.
Try to leave during the holidays?
Don’t think the kids don’t know what is happening.
Caution: Leaving is the most dangerous time of any abusive situation. Anyone involved is at risk of physical harm. Professionals, such as law enforcement, should be a part of leaving in order to preserve the safety of those in any abusive situation.
However, not leaving is the second most dangerous time of any abusive situation.
There is help out there. This is not a situation to be resolved alone: Police reports. Legal action (protective orders). Hotlines 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Safe houses and counselors or therapists.
Children have an inherent right to be respected, to be loved, to be happy. Not to have to be constantly on guard, to feel helpless.
Pets have no defenses. Their abuse is despicable.
Life goes on. Death by natural causes can be accepted. The grief can be experienced. Healing of those left can occur.
Devastation by abuse is an ongoing Cancer from generation to generation. Abuse is a hurt that does not heal, with damage that emerges as physical and/or mental illnesses.
Friends, please hold out your hands.
Provide love and kindness to those who have lost loved ones.
Provide understanding and information to those being hammered into submission. There is hope, there is help.
Considerations: What is the Eureka moment when domestic abuse is no longer tolerated?
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
© 2023 Our New Chances
Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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